These kind of sexual problems are met pretty often. Such may occur when just starting sex life as well as after longer period of abstention.
Talking about this current situation, the guy has had a long period of abstention and it’s hard to tell if he’s been practicing masturbation during it. Even if he’s done that, then probably he’s had very quick and short sessions of masturbation. Also have to add that after age 30 man’s metabolism and other aspects which may affect his hormonal background change a little bit. And all these things are increased by psychological factor – control of erection during sex, fears about quality of erection, etc..
I find it pretty funny that there is an assumption, and I meet it pretty often, that giving a visit to specialist, person gets even bigger “moral trauma”. I only may suggest – don’t go to such a specialist who can traumatize you! From my experience I know that such psychological factors don’t increase, but opposite – there is reached a breaking point which secures successful further solvation of the problem.
What to do in your situation? Without a doubt you should achieve a regular ejaculation for your man (3-4 times a week)! If you can’t achieve it right now with intercourse, do that with erotic massages. You should regularly work on your partner’s penis, stimulate it and have to achieve its normal erection and ejaculation. With each time you should try to keep your partners penis erected for longer period of time. You should refuse from traditional intercourse (vaginal sex) for a while, and you should try to satisfy each other with alternative ways.
In this situation it’s harder to deal with psychological problems – guy should try to relax and not to think about what you are doing to him, just try to enjoy the pleasant feelings. It would be advisory to try staying nude in each others company as much as possible, maybe even go together to nudist beach. Additionally it would be recommended for him to take the poly-vitamins and homeopathic stimulants. But if in about two weeks situation doesn’t get better, it would be necessary to turn for help to specialist.